Monkey Militia

“Mayhem Monkeys”, the term professional Mixed Martial Artist, Jason Mayhem Miller uses to affectionately address his fans. We throw this term around quite alot and we claim that “WE ARE MAYHEM MONKEYS!” but, do we even know what these two words mean? I decided to ask the man himself and, I must admit; I wasn’t disappointed with the reply I recieved.

ME: “Mayhem Monkeys is a pretty broad term and it covers a wide spectrum. Clarification is needed on its definition.”

MAYHEM: “That’s the beauty of the mayhem monkeys. It’s what ever you make of it. Same as the numbers. It represents what is important to you personally. And a reminder to work your hardest towards your goals.”

Based on our leader’s reply, Mayhem Monkeys is “what ever you make of it” and, the numbers act as a personal reminder that help you not lose track of what is important in your life. If you recall correctly, during the “Mayhem Miller” twitter trend explosion on 6/06/2011, Jason tweeted, “#MayhemMiller wants you to improve your life for you, and no one else.”

So, what is “Mayhem Monkeys”? It’s a tool that can be used to better yourself in everything that you do. If you’re always underestimated, it can be a method to prove people wrong. Bully victims can use it to attain control of their lives. Dreamers can manipulate its features so as to resuscitate their “fantasies”. Fighters can acquire “ninja like focus” and ensure victories from it. Soldiers can use its powers of determination and strength. It’s a constant reminder that motivates you to keep on keeping on. It’s whatever you want it to be.

By Mayhem Monkey#92.

We got some pretty talented Monkeys.

For more pictures visit http://www.facebook.com/monkeymilitia

Anonymous asked: Firstly I would like to thank you for keeping us monkeys connected and updated. Secondly, I would like to know, what is the one thing that you wish you could be doing right now?

Thanks:-)

You’re welcome. And, may I point out thats it’s no biggie. I love sharing and caring with my fellow Monkeys:-)

Hmm, good question. I’ll have to say travelling across Europe. The rush that you get from being on your own for the first time in your life, the thrill of trying and meeting new and different things and people, the high  that you get when you think of where to go next. Mix this in with a limited bank account and the feeling is bound to be overwhelming.

I was supposed to be doing this now. I was supposed to be somewhere in Spain doing the tango with a hot random stranger at a fiesta. But I’m stuck majoring in Banking and Finance at the Institute of Finance Management.

I guess Europe is going to have to wait a while before I conquer it ;-)

“TREND EXPLOSION BACKFIRES”

Needless to say our illustrious leader and his new blonde do, deserve much more than just a spot on TUF 14 or a six figure contract with the UFC. Last night, was all about one thing: “respecognizing” the true MMA King. 

A group of monkeys started a movement that was impossible to ignore; the “#JasonMayhemMiller” hash tag, with the aim of getting their leader on the twitter trending list. In order to execute this perfectly, they needed a solid 700-900 active users to post tweets containing this tag; a minimum of 1500 times within a 3-4hr time limit. 

Since the Monkey God had over 90,000 followers, they thought it would be a piece of cake. They immediately begun selecting followers and tweeting them instructions. When the worst was over, they commenced to posting tweets like the mad monkeys that they were! 

Unfortunately not many users joined in. It was estimated that only 25% of the Mayhem supporters responded. Obviously, the statistics weren’t at their full disposal; and they were mercilessly crashed by other insignificant trends.

Rest assured they will be back with a vengeance and, will not quit till they get their leader on that list. These monkeys are none other than our very own; Lee Davis (@islanddude58), “Monkey#less (@LilMsAdrienne), Marty Ohlfest (@islandgirl6258), Stephanie Warner (@StarstruckFan1), Jennifer Bussell (@jennifer32082) and Keri Garreston (@keri_so_very).

The Cult recognizes your services. We salute thee.

Mayhem To Coach TUF 14 (Behind The Scenes)

By MM#92.

“Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller has won the Micheal Bisping sweepstakes in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.”

As soon as the bomb was dropped and the shock waves were felt, emotions began to rise to the surface. Even though most Monkeys were attempting a back flip at this point, a considerable few were wiping away tears. 

Many were looking forward to the beatdown Mayhem was going to deliver on July 2nd. Some even bought tickets. The hype of seeing their leader back in the octagon was at an all time high. However, it wasn’t long before the “fuck it” hormone kicked in. 

“All we want is to see Mayhem back in the ring or cage. It doesn’t matter who he is going to fight against. We just wanna see him bash somebody’s face in. And if that somebody happens to be Bisping, then so be it!!” 

Anonymous asked: i googled and it said weed was legal is in tanzania. is it true??!!??!!

You know that saying, “nothing is illegal till you get caught”? You’ll be happy to know that the legality of weed under the Tanzanian government falls under this statement.

Basically, you can be high as a mofo. But if the 5-0 can’t spot any kush on you; you take a walk. Why do you think most Africans lead stress free lives? And why do you think a considerable amount of tourists never make it back to their home countries? 

Stoner heaven, bro. q-:

Anonymous asked: Hey Militia. I don't know who else to ask this to, and you did say we could ask you anything, so here I go. My 9yr old nephew knows where babies come from. As in literally, the whole shubang! Problem is, he's parents watch what they expose him to. The only thing he watches is kiddie channels. So, how can he know all that from Ben 10?!

I don’t think Ben is the one to blame. He probably has unlimited access to either NatGeo Wild, Discovery or Animal Planet. I know what you’re thinking; and yes, animal porn does exist.

Picture this, your little nephew drops the remote and the channel accidentally tunes into National Geographic; where they happen to be showing a documentary on chimps. He sees two chimps knocking boots and immediately recalls the few times his walked in on daddy “hurting” mummy.  

Shouldn’t take him long to connect the dots and yell out BINGO!!

Anonymous asked: i know you major in banking and finance. so can you help a monkey out and tell me all about the selling concept. i cant get it down. help?!

Either you ditched or you weren’t really paying attention. But I’m gonna help you any way :-)

It is known that the success of a bank largely depends on the presence of customers and the usage of the financial and non-financial services provided or offered. Banks have many operating costs; e.g. interest payment to customers upon deposit, paying salaries to respective employees, electrical payments and other associated costs. All these costs must be funded.

The selling concept proposes that customers, be it individuals or organizations will not buy enough of the bank’s services or products unless they’re persuaded to do so through selling efforts. So, banks should undertake the selling and promotion of their services and products for marketing success. Typically, customers are inert and they need to be goaded towards buying by converting their inert needs into buying motives through persuasion and selling efforts (normally done by sales representatives)

Hope its clear..:-)

Anonymous asked: you know where we live. where do YOU live?!

Bongo Land, baby!!! Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania.

Anonymous asked: what is the scariest thing that ever happened to you

When I was 11 a fire broke out in our neighborhood. I remember watching “Mutant X” before hearing a loud explosion. We all rushed outside and were immediately overwhelmed by the whole scene. 

I don’t know what caused that fire, all I know is that I had the misfortune of watching people and their houses burn down. I remember there was this one dude, who came out of the wreckage and he was still on fire. By the time people extinguished the flames that were engulfing his body, he was already dead. 

A lot of people died that night, mainly because of our shitty emergency facilities. Took the F.D a good hour and a half to arrive. In the mean time, I was exposed to all this uncensored shit. It wasn’t until the fire was out that my parents noticed I was missing. They found me nestled on top of a huge boulder watching the scene unravel.